How Do I Forgive? - How to Forgive Yourself & Others

I already know that you're the kind of person that wants to feel good about their life.

You probably want to do everything in your power to make your life the BEST it can be, and you work hard to ensure you get the results you desire.

You're looking for success and happiness. And you naturally don't want anything to sabotage your efforts, or hinder your personal growth.

You see, I’ve been in the business of helping people for decades. I've spent years coaching clients and supporting them in reaching their BIGGEST possible dreams.

But I’ve seen one negative pattern, AGAIN and AGAIN, that can destroy EVERYTHING you’ve worked for – and you might not even be aware of it.

And there is ONE THING that I know for sure about this very specific negative pattern...

Without handling this "negative pattern" -- which you're probably carrying around right now -- you will NEVER experience the kind of peace of mind that is possible. And that will ensure you fall short of your dreams and goals every time.

So, you're probably wondering what one thing is so powerful that it can have such potentially catastrophic effects on your life...

Well, let me first tell you that the answer is going to surprise you. That's because it will seem so small and unimportant. But that is PRECISELY the reason most people overlook it in the first place.

Before I get into the details, allow me to share my story with you - and how I made this incredible discovery.

All of this is 100% true. Read it with an open heart - and maybe you'll relate with what I have to say....

As a very young child I was a victim of incest. And of all people, it was by my own father. Unfortunately, my mother didn’t even believe me when I told her what was happening.

I had a LOT of reason to harbor a grudge against both of them. Here were my parents, the two people in the world who were supposed to PROTECT me, and they both betrayed me. And I was so young, so confused, and so hurt, I had no way of getting through it all without some DEEP wounds.

I grew up feeling abandoned, betrayed, unlovable, not good or capable enough. Which led the way for low self-esteem, poor health and in general a never-ending spiral of MISERY. And yes, BLAME.

These feelings colored my entire life. I believed I was a victim. And I hated my parents for what THEY did to ME. And I really felt that I had a RIGHT to hate them so much.

But even beneath that, I thought something MUST be terribly wrong with me if they could treat me like that. I felt dirty, unclean and ugly. I could not imagine what love even meant.

I began to look outside myself for approval, which made me very clever at people-pleasing. I would turn myself inside out just for some acceptance. I never realized I had needs.

In order to compensate, I became addicted. Not to anything illegal, mind you. But in a way, that made my addiction even MORE difficult to recognize. I began doing extreme sports. I pushed my body to the limit. I beat myself up every day telling myself it was good for me. My extreme addiction became extreme EVERYTHING:

	Running 5 miles a day for 25 years
	Doing marathons
	10 years of yoga in 105 degree heat
	Extreme dieting and dietary choices
	Forcing and pushing myself to the point of collapse again and again

Maybe after all this, someone or something would validate me, and I could heal…

My parents were CLEARLY the ones responsible for creating how messed up I was. I was righteous, indignant and very resistant. I WANTED to be angry, bitter and hold resentment against them. My life became the outlet to express those feelings.

However, if I wanted to get OUT of victimhood, so I could MOVE ON and change the things that were hurting me, I would have to TAKE ACTION.

That's right. The one thing that was holding me back was that I hadn't forgiven my parents.

Once this major shift occurred in my consciousness, I knew this was the KEY. It brought me to realizing that my parents were my doorway to COMPASSION.

By learning how to genuinely forgive them, I suddenly became soft and open. I could let go of the deep resentment, anger and hurt. I could begin to heal because I CHOSE TO.

Yes - to get to this place of awareness and loving myself took compassionate and radical forgiveness on my part. But it made such a huge difference.

All kinds of areas that were stuck in my life began to open up suddenly! Old barriers and obstacles to my success just fell away. Was there a connection to this new success, and the forgiveness I had undertaken? You bet there was!

Since then, after spending years of coaching hundreds of individuals in manifesting their dreams (through my Dream Manifesto LLC coaching business), I began to realize when my clients ALSO needed to clean up the wreckage of the past and start taking responsibility. Once they did this, I saw success start to flow EASILY in their lives.

It was a breakthrough. The connection was obvious. With forgiveness came ease of mind, greater happiness, better health, and overall life success.

Let me tell you something. For me personally, the result of NO LONGER being a victim impacted on my life in many amazing ways. Here's how forgiveness benefited me, in so many positive ways:

	My anxiety was massively reduced.
	I no longer took responsibility for the feelings and actions of others.
	I discovered a new-found confidence and self-esteem.
	I discovered who I was, and was becoming comfortable that person.
	I discovered talents I previously denied, and felt I did not deserve.
	I achieved and continue to achieve my true life ambitions.

So who haven't YOU forgiven? Who from your past is holding YOU back, right now?

You know just WHO I mean. Maybe it was your mother or father for something terrible they did to you. Maybe it was a teacher, the bully at school, or even a "close friend" that let you down. Maybe it was someone you loved more than anything in the whole world. Maybe it was someone that completely betrayed you, or broke your heart.

And perhaps you did. You stopped thinking about THAT PERSON, and you shut them out of your life completely. It's possible that they even died in the meantime.

Your subconscious didn’t forget. It never let go of the baggage, the resentment – it only buried it. And trust me, that is NOT the same thing.

Your subconscious creates your WHOLE LIFE. And if you are clinging to resent, guilt, shame, anger, or disappointment… You are about to attract a whole LOT MORE negativity.

Now, I want you to be really, really honest with me for a second. (Because you’re going to be tempted, just like all my other clients, to say – "That’s not ME. I would never do THAT!")

Okay. I just want you to look at the list below, and if you answer “Yes” to any of these questions, I already know from experience that your life is not yet as good as you want it to be. (But remember, it doesn’t have to stay that way!)

	Do you still hold a grudge against anyone? (Even if you're not usually 'that type.')
	Do you still harbor resentment toward anyone for something they did to you?
	Are there people you still feel irritated at for something they did 10, 15, even 20 years ago?
	Are you still beating yourself up about something you did wrong in the past?

These wounds can leave you with lasting feelings of anger, bitterness and even vengeance…

Especially if the insult or pain inflicted, caused by that dagger slammed right into your back, was caused by someone you love and trust.

I’ve been down that road. It’s not as easy to forgive and move on with your life when the wound is THAT deep.

One of the problems is this: Your Hurt Will Keep Gnawing Until Your Entire Attention is Taken Up By It.

This means your mind can’t really concentrate on other things in your life – like family, work, health or even simple enjoyment – because your mind is stuck in a loop. Clinging on to the same old negativity.

This is what happens to us when the wound is fresh. But it eventually becomes the one drop of poison that ruins the entire well. You probably know people like this. They get sour. They get bitter. They get OLD. They can’t stop talking about the horrible things that have happened to them.

	Dwelling on the events surrounding the offense
	Being told you have a chip on your shoulder, or that you're wallowing in self-pity
	Family and friends AVOIDING you because they don't enjoy your company
	Having angry outbursts at the smallest perceived slights
	Drinking excessively, smoking or using drugs to numb your thoughts
	Having symptoms of depression or anxiety
	Being consumed by thoughts of revenge or punishment
	Automatically thinking the worst about people or situations
	Regretting the loss of a valued relationship
	Feeling like your life lacks meaning or purpose

Listen, the ego is powerful. If you think you’re right about something, or even worse, if you KNOW you are right and they are wrong, you don’t want to give an inch.

But here’s the confusion. This is where most people get STUCK. They think that forgiving someone is the SAME THING as telling them they’re right.

Ever heard the saying, “Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die?” There’s only ONE PERSON in this equation. That person is YOU. And what matters most is how YOU feel, not someone else. No-one else has to live in your body!

And that's a proven FACT. Indeed, studies from the “Campaign for Forgiveness Research” show that people who forgive are much happier and healthier than those that typically hold resentments...

It’s been proven that how you think helps determine your state of health. Resentment creates disease. Maybe not immediately, but a lifetime of resentment steals your life energy, and ruins your relationships, your creativity, and your health. Don’t let THAT be YOU.

"This CD opened my heart and soul and transported me to the deep well of love inside of me.

"When love is flowing, everything else comes to rest. This CD opens the door to the place where only love resides. Ever time I play the CD I am deeply moved and feel cared for. It brings me to a place of total acceptance and joy.

"The music and the voices resonates pure acceptance and feel like a warm blanket wrapped around you. I highly recommend this CD for everyone because it makes you realize that forgiveness is the greatest gift you give to yourself. Thank you so much for sharing this absolutely beautiful CD with the world."

- Saskia Roell, Transformational Life Coach (read more testimonials)

Simply answer these questions - and test yourself. It's quick and easy. Here goes:

	Do you wish you had a different childhood?
	Do you think your education could've been better?
	Are you angry about unfair debt?
	Are you upset about the recession?
	Do you feel distracted and have difficulty focusing on things?
	Do you feel that you deserve more in life?
	Are you unsatisfied with your work situation?
	Are you unhappy in your relationships?
	Are you frustrated about your financial situation?
	Is there someone from the past that you still really dislike?
	Is there somebody in your life right now that you resent?
	Are you still annoyed at what happened BEFORE?
	Do you still feel bitter about the people that really let you down?

If you answered YES to one or more of these questions, it’s time to practice forgiveness in your life. And let me reassure you: it is EASY.

The Choice of Forgiveness program is my solution to releasing the shackles, constraints and obstacles that your resentments and inner bitterness are creating for you right now.

It's a course that I created after seeing just how powerful forgiveness has been in my own life. And in the years since, the near-miraculous results it has had on my many hundreds of coaching clients.

This powerful book and audio course will show you how to FREE yourself from negative events of the past. Using it, you'll become more EMPOWERED and more SUCCESSFUL in your life. You'll be able to use its techniques to help free yourself up, and begin enjoying the life you've always dreamt about.

	Release your anger and pain
	Resolve almost ANY case of severe depression
	Are you angry about unfair debt?
	Bring back free attention so you can move on with your life
	Help you heal almost instantly
	Free you from alcohol or substance abuse
	Increase your physical strength
	Establish the ability for new relationships
	Boost your immune system
	Find relief from depression and resentment
	Have focus and clarity when making new decisions
	End the cycle of self-punishment
	Feel more alive, inspired and energized

Right now, your mind is hooked on the past. Both consciously and subconsciously, the brain churns over bygone events - eating up all of your available energy, enthusiasm, creativity, resources - or what I sometimes just refer to as 'attention.'

The thing is, if you have little or no free attention, LIFE RUNS YOU. You don’t have the ability to make conscious decisions. Your life gets stuck on auto-pilot. Your reactions rule your days, and your choices become limited or nonexistent.

Your decisions are conscious, and you can BUILD on the positive choices you bring to all your relationships, situations, and activities. When your attention is free, instead of rehearsing old hurts, you get your LIFE back, and all the POWER that goes with it.

Although my father has since passed away, my mother is alive and well at 98. We’ve spent years moving towards the love that is always present. However, it began within me, each step, bringing me closer to source. I’m so grateful that my mother has stayed alive long enough for us to come full circle. A true blessing born out of the willingness to forgive. This is why I named this course ‘The Choice of Forgiveness.'

Ultimately, when you forgive, as I did, your life becomes more wonderful than you could ever imagine!! And there’s no more waiting. You can start feeling better INSTANTLY!

Forgiveness can literally heal your heart. A study published in the Journal of Behavioral Medicine found “...forgiveness to be associated with lower heart rate and blood pressure as well as stress relief.”

Another study published in the Journal of Behavioral Medicine stated that forgiveness is positively associated with “five measures of health: physical symptoms, medications used, sleep quality, fatigue, and somatic complaints.”

It seems that the reduction in negative affect (depressive symptoms), and the strengthened spirituality, conflict management, and stress relief one finds through forgiveness, all have a significant impact on overall health.

A third study, published in the Personality & Social Psychology Bulletin found that “…forgiveness not only restores positive thoughts, feelings and behaviors toward the offending party, but the benefits of forgiveness spill over to positive behaviors toward others outside of the relationship.”

Forgiveness has extraordinarily powerful benefits for your body, your relationships, and your place in the world. Letting go of anger and working on forgiveness can literally PREVENT DISEASE.

For the first time ever, there is now a complete home study course available on the subject of forgiveness. This course was developed in partnership with one of the top authorities in the field. It’s an easy and proven step-by-step course that guides you through releasing any negative emotions in a very short time.

The course is called 'The Choice of Forgiveness' - and contains two books and two audio CDs.

Let me give you a quick overview of precisely what's included inside this powerful, life-changing package:

Reading this book will give you a deep understanding of why you are holding on to the pain of the past.

You will see why you may be willing to forgive on a conscious level, but never managed to. You'll learn why you previously didn't have the tools, ability or mindset to simply just "forgive."

You will learn how to enjoy a more powerful, solid foundation in your life: incorporating resolution and peace of mind. You will understand with greater clarity how to think about the events of your past from a forgiveness standpoint.

This book takes you further than anything you may have encountered before, by introducing you to the spiritual healing concept of forgiveness (without religious undertones). You will come to understand why certain incidents may have happened to you, and you will even recognize why they may have even been necessary.

After reading this book, there's no doubt about it: you'll close the last page feeling more forgiveness, more love, and more grateful for your life!

This step-by-step workbook contains an insightful overview on forgiveness, alongside a powerful self-guided forgiveness process.

Using a clear, practical approach, this workbook shows how to use forgiveness as a powerful healing tool to release the past, and restore peace and well-being in your life.

It can be applied to any conflict, grievance, trauma, or other difficult life experience.

This is an ideal tool for those who don’t know how to get started. The exercises in this book are based on 15 years of experience dealing with many thousands of forgiveness-based issues.

Produced in association with life-long, professional mediator Eileen Barker

After just one listening session of these healing invocations, you will begin to release past negative experiences - and feel FREE, as your mind and heart are flooded with positive feelings.

This Subliminal Healing Invocations audio program will literally re-program your subconscious to let go, so you can be available to all the good life has to offer.

The CD also contains a thorough introduction that reveals how to use the power of forgiveness to release your past, free your attention, and move on with your life. This prepares your mind for the sessions, and gives you a profound insight into why the practice of forgiveness is essential for a fulfilled life.

Special proven technology to get in touch with your heart. . .

The forgiveness phrases are spoken in the left and the right channels simultaneously. This binaural technology is the most effective way to disengage the conscious mind from analyzing the words themselves and letting the subconscious mind absorb 100 percent of their impact.

The soothing and gentle background music was especially created to help you get in touch with deeper feelings.

There is nothing extra you need to do. Simply listen and relax and the process will instantly begin to work for you.

Whether you are currently dealing with a difficult conflict or carrying the burden of a conflict from the past, these Guided Meditation Sessions will guide you to forgive the other person - and yourself.

It will help you release the conflict from your life, and restore peace in your heart.

The Forgiveness Guided Meditation audio is a powerful process for forgiving, healing and letting go of conflict. It will further help you to let go of the past by simply listening.

Developed by a professional, life-long meditation teacher, these Guided Meditation Sessions have helped hundreds of people transform their anger and grief into appreciation and gratitude.

"I am thrilled to say this CD is the best thing I have ever bought for myself.

"If only I could find the words for the depth of gratitude I feel toward yourself, and the Choice of Forgiveness. Amazed at how this CD helps me release my core issues effortlessly and quickly.

"It directly dissolved the true cause. And it feels so liberating to be able to exercise my willpower more and more, and gain a new sense of ownership over my life. In short, I feel so much happier.

"So I recommend that your visitors do themselves a favor and click to order now. This CD is priceless. May you be victorious."

- Onejong W. Chai, Fairfield, CA (read more testimonials)

So, can it really be that simple? Will you really be able to just "let go" - simply by working your way through this course? The answer is YES.

The Choice of Forgiveness Course will guide you through the forgiveness process of letting go step-by-step. Even if you have doubts and are trying to resist – this course will simply dissolve any negative emotions you are holding on to.

And, by the way... There's a certain MAGIC that happens when you truly forgive yourself. All those that have honestly and truly forgiven themselves have felt that magic. It brings so many powerful benefits to your life, which continue to get better, day-by-day. Now, for the first time, YOU will be able to experience this for yourself.

A professional therapist will bill you thousands of dollars, with no guarantee of you EVER feeling free. Often, the therapy only handles the symptoms of the problem, and not the core issue. Even if you can afford and have time for a therapist, most people don't want the embarrassment of airing their deepest, darkest secrets and angers - for fear of being judged, or made to feel even worse.

That’s exactly why The Choice of Forgiveness Course was created. So that you can start releasing the emotional pain that’s holding you back from living the life you deserve - all on your own time, and on your own terms.

With this course, you can master the profound art of forgiveness -- all in the comfort of your own home. Within just 45 minutes of starting the audio course, you'll start to realize just how blissful and joyful daily life can be again!

And all of these promises are back by a very solid, 60-day money-back guarantee...

Full 60-Day Money-Back

Guarantee!

Your satisfaction is totally assured. Every single copy of our course comes with a no-risk, 100% no-questions-asked money-back guarantee for 60 FULL DAYS!

That's almost two whole months to try it out.

If the course doesn't help you to end the pain, if it doesn't guide you to get your life back, if it doesn't release painful emotions and energize your life --- in fact, if it doesn't change your life within the 45 minutes of listening – just let us know, and we'll refund every penny of your purchase.

Ever heard of a 60-day money back guarantee from a therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist?

The thing is, I know I could easily charge thousands of dollars for this course. The radical transformation it brings is incredibly valuable. I've seen the results with hundreds of my clients over the years. This stuff really WORKS.

But I want as many people to benefit from this course as possible, which is why I've launched this entire package today for the tiny sum of just $~~247~~ REDUCED TO: JUST $57!!!

YES! For a limited time, you can get help with lifting the emotional burden from your shoulders for just $57. Get rid of any negative feelings you are holding on to right now!

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE! I want to make sure you are absolutely thrilled with the results you get, so I'm going to include a bundle of invaluable bonus tools, absolutely FREE of charge. That's right: you'll also receive...

All three bonus ebooks – collectively valued at $74.85 – are available for instant download after placing your order. And they're all delivered in the most environmentally-friendly way too...

Be part of the solution. Digital downloads are the “green” answer to demanding fewer resources from our planet. You'll receive the full benefits of the complete forgiveness package, all with an environmental footprint of zero.

Digital downloads are one part of the larger trend in making our lives, and the world in general, cleaner, more efficient, safer, happier... BETTER. Your purchase furthers that cause.

Even if you have never downloaded anything before, rest assured, the process is incredibly easy. If you made it to this page, you already have the skills required to download your course. It's a breeze!

We'll send you links to access the ebooks, which you can read on your computer, print out, or transfer to an ebook reader. You can also play the audio directly online, download to your computer for listening, or transfer to your iPod or other MP3 player. It's SIMPLE. That's our promise to you.

"Within the first week my life began to change. Positive things were happening physically, but most important the power I felt, from the sense that my life was now under my control, was the greatest feeling.

"I have learned how to look at life and the negative things that come with it entirely differently. I just wish that everyone knew how to think this way. Our world would be a much better place if forgiveness was a larger part of our lives and if each one of us could lay down our indifferences, accept our differences, and move on with an attitude of positive outcome.

"Thank you, guys, for such a small thing that made such a huge change in my life."

- Eva T. Ruiz, Channahon, IL 60410 (read more testimonials)

If YOU want to experience all the benefits of forgiveness – this is absolutely the BEST way to do it.

Remember what I've learned after coaching hundreds of clients, from across the globe...

Simply put: If you DON'T get this part of your life handled right now, when all the facts are in front of you, you’ll probably NEVER do anything about it. At best you will continue to live a life of mediocrity. At worst, you will continue failing, hating, and maybe even self-destructing.

Will you do what it takes to feel better? You can spend years trying to figure out how to end the emotional pain. You could spend thousands of dollars on therapy. Or you could let this POWERFUL COURSE show you the way - starting right NOW.

VALID TODAY: Take $190 from the regular price of $247! Instantly download 'The Choice of Forgiveness Course' for only $57 - PLUS you get $74.85 in Bonus Gifts for FREE!

Aviva Engel
Creator of "The Choice of Forgiveness"
Co-founder of Dream Manifesto, Life Coach and Author
www.choiceofforgiveness.com